Why Life Feels Like Rush, Anxiety, and Instant Gratification on Repeat

By Ojasvi Bhardwaj, Registered Psychotherapist

So many of us know this feeling.

Life moves at a pace that never seems to slow down.

Our minds race. Our bodies feel tired but can’t fully rest.

We push through the day in an anxiety, only to collapse into the arms of instant gratification at night: scrolling, snacking, shopping, or numbing out in some way.

And then the shame arrives. “Why can’t I just keep up? Why do I need these habits to cope?”

The cycle repeats, and it can feel endless.

But what if this isn’t just a personal flaw?

What if the world around us fuels this cycle, while our inner world simply responds in the only ways it knows how?

The Anxiously Fast Paced World We Live In

In a capitalist world, our value often feels tied to how much we achieve, how productive we are, or how quickly we reach certain milestones. Success becomes measured in deadlines met, money earned, or boxes checked off by a certain age.

Many people carry quiet messages like, “By now I should have more savings,” or “I should already own a home,” or “I should be further ahead in my career.” These beliefs create a constant sense of urgency. The rush becomes not just about getting through the day, but about proving our worth.

Over time, this pressure or anxiety doesn’t stay outside of us. It seeps in, shaping how our inner world responds — pushing us harder, silencing our tender parts, and reaching for whatever numbs the stress just long enough to keep going.

Are we really Anxious?- Seeing Ourselves Through IFS

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a gentle way to understand this cycle. It describes different “parts” of us that are internal, proactive, reactive in nature, helping us to protect and manage our pain or stress.

1.

Managers are the parts that push us to perform, plan, and stay in control. They believe if we work hard enough or stay perfect, we won’t get hurt.

2.

Exiles are the vulnerable parts carrying old wounds of shame, fear, or not feeling enough. They are tender and often hidden away.

3.

Firefighters are the parts that rush in when the pain breaks through. They bring quick comfort: a glass of wine, an online shopping spree, hours of scrolling, or food that soothes.

When we look at our wider culture, it’s striking how much it reinforces these patterns. Hustle culture strengthens our managers. Social pressure stirs our exiles. Consumerism feeds our firefighters.

🔄 The Loop We Get Caught In

It often goes like this:

We push ourselves harder

The pain underneath grows louder.

We reach for quick relief.

The shame grows.

And so we push even harder.

Many people live in this loop without realizing it. It is exhausting, and it makes sense that so many of us feel stuck.

Meeting Ourselves with Compassion

IFS also reminds us that beneath all of these parts, we each have a Self. Self is calm, compassionate, and steady. It doesn’t rush or criticize. It listens and cares.

From this place, we can begin to see the cycle more clearly. We can soften toward the managers that are only trying to protect us. We can tend to the exiles that long to be seen. We can thank the firefighters for their effort, while gently guiding them toward comfort that truly nourishes.

This doesn’t mean we should never shop, eat, or scroll on our phones. The difference lies in the energy behind the action. When it comes from urgency, panic, or shame, it often leaves us emptier than before. When it comes from Self — from choice, care, and presence — even simple actions can feel grounding and nourishing.

A Gentle Pause for You

As you read this, maybe take a slow breath. Notice your body right now.

And if it feels safe, you might ask yourself:

Where do I notice the rush most in my life?

How do I try to keep myself safe when the pressure feels high?

When I turn to instant gratification, what am I really longing for underneath?

And what would it feel like to meet myself with kindness instead of judgment?

Noticing the cycle is already a powerful step. With compassion, we can begin to imagine a different way — one that doesn’t run on rush, shame, and instant gratification, but on presence, care, and connection.

Author:Ojasvi Bhardwaj, Registered Psychotherapist